Do you like yourself, or at least the version of yourself that you’ve created? I think most of us do because our self-crafted identities serve a purpose. Our brains want to protect from us from all forms of pain, physical or otherwise and as such, we develop life structures that insulate us accordingly. There is nothing inherently wrong with doing this, but it can and quite often does go too far. That’s why you need to give up right now. Let me explain…
I was very sensitive but serious as a kid. I viewed everything as a task that needed to be overcome, and was furious and heartbroken when I failed. I can remember my bus driver telling me to, “Smile! You look so serious!” Anyone that commands someone else to smile should be turned into coal but I digress…This always bothered me because I felt like I was WRONG for being focused! My mind was always zeroing in on the next thing and how I could absolutely dominate it. Just ask my parents, I hated to lose. Thankfully, the game of golf has played a significant role in humbling me and teaching me to treat loss differently. If you’re not interested in golf, the life applications found in it are astounding, simply because it’s the ONLY game centered around controlled loss. More on that another time…
Instead of brushing the bus driver’s comment off, I absorbed it. What else could I do as a child? I became incredibly self consious of my “seriousness” and I rarely showed it as a kid ever again. I also loved classical music from an early age and I can still remember being ridiculed for it in high school when the Walkman (yes I’m old) started to make an appearance. While the other kids were listening to Sublime and Blink 182, I was listening to Bach, Beethoven and Brahms. I decided to hide this fact because it wasn’t popular and was too “serious”. This pattern continued on throughout my life until very recently when I got tired of it and decided to do something radical – GIVE UP!
The problem with all of us is that our childhood was in some way disrupted and our dreams and natural state thrown into the recesses of our subconscious. This happens all the time and unfortunately, some of us are more damaged than others. It makes me think twice before I open my yap to our little ones. When we are young children, our brains don’t have the capacity to self-talk back to the information coming in. Everything that comes in is processed as factual, and so we develop these beliefs about ourselves. The problem with this is that if it goes on for too long, we build a lasagna of lies; layering untruth after untruth on top of one another. In adulthood, it leads to a feeling of being lost and alone. There is hope though, I promise.
If you feel lost and alone, you must give up on your self-made identity and trade it for your true passions because the result is complete transcendence. For a more in depth exercise on finding that passion, check out my post on How to Passion Things. Use the tips in that post to help you get there and then once you do, DON’T start planning. The best way to recover your truth is to just DO it. Here are some hypothetical examples:
- Do you love to paint? Take action by getting some paints, paper and paintbrushes and start painting. Don’t have any expectations, just do.
- Do you love to connect people? Take action by picking up the phone and calling someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Be curious and see where the conversation goes.
- Do you love gardening? Take action by getting a spade digging up some ground, then buy some seeds and plant them.
You can see the pattern in all of these examples: IDENTIFY PASSION – TAKE ACTION. Once you’ve done this enough, your false identity that you’ve created will slowly but surely peel off. Be prepared though – once you’ve shed a layer or two, people will start noticing and will tell you that you’ve changed. It’s because you have changed, just in the correct direction for the first time in your life. The impending birth of my son caused me to give up last month and start writing again. I write every day without fail and will continue to do so because I have an obsession with my truth. So, here’s what I want to know: Are you crazy enough to give up with me?
I hope you enjoyed today’s blog! Sunday’s blog entitled “Get Creative” will dive deeper into taking action and managing your own expectations as you begin your truth journey. Please subscribe and keep sharing. I’m not done yet…