Noah, Lucas and Jack,
This is the end of my rant, I promise….there’s a BIG lesson to learn today. My second date with your mom was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. After our first date went so well, I was deeply concerned that the second one had to be absolutely perfect. I would say that I’m a fairly confident guy, but the second date with your mom almost ruined me before I even got there.
Boys, if you haven’t noticed already, your mom is incredibly intelligent. On our first date, we talked about astrophysics and relativity…your old man knew enough to barely keep up with your mom. As I was listening to her, one name kept coming up again and again – Einstein. Your mother loves his work because despite the common misconception, he is very easy to read and is quite accessible. When I heard this, I thought to myself, “Here’s a single mom of two boys who works her ass off. When was the last time she had a chance to read a book?” After I got home, I looked up the best biography about Einstein and I bought it.
I also knew your mom probably didn’t get much time to go out and shop for herself. As the weather was turning colder, I figured she might enjoy a warm long sleeve shirt to sleep in at night. I went to Vineyard Vines and got her a cute Christmas themed long sleeve tee. The excitement coursing through my veins was crazy – I finally had someone to spoil and dote on! Then the paranoia set in…was this too much, too fast? What does Google have to say? I literally typed in, “Can you scare a girl by buying her presents too early?” The answers confirmed the fact that I was moving too fast.
Before our second date, I literally sat on my couch staring at the presents I had wrapped for your mom. I considered flipping a coin to decide what I should do and then the light bulb went off in my head…”What do I WANT to do?” I wanted to give her the presents because I wanted to show her that I listened to her and knew what she liked. I gave those gifts to your mom and she absolutely loved them. Boys, I still buy clothes for you mom, and she won’t shop for herself anymore because I have a better eye than she does.
The lesson for today – Don’t overthink things. Of course, your mom could have been freaked out and never talked to me again. GOOD! I would have rather put myself out there and risked it than wondered if my own intuition was pure. Don’t become so analytical that you don’t take action on anything. Thinking and analyzing are valuable skills to develop in many areas. The problem arises when we think to a level that discourages any action at all for everything. Take calculated risks and be bold because if you’re wrong, you will learn.
All in all boys, I hope you learned something from your old man. The road to meeting your mom wasn’t easy and the road up to this day hasn’t been easy either. Easy does not equal right…that’s a huge misconception. Instead, learn to lean into the hard things. Learn to look for the patterns of virtue in others. Learn to love sacrificially. I only hope that all three of you are as fortunate as I am to have married such an amazing human being. I love you all and I wish you nothing but happiness. My door is always open.